Pseudo Designers
There are a lot of good designers. But the bad ones are out there and you need to be able to spot them. There isn't a lot you can do about them. They are like mines buried in the field of design. Try not to step on any.
1. The Hack
The first warning sign that you're in the presence of a Hack is that he'll somehow bring up his One Good Design from Way Back. He won't call it that. In fact, he'll show it to you and say something like, "This is the kind of work that i do." That's when you notice the work is on brittle, yellowing paper from an old magazine.
All Hacks have one of these work. They made their name on it. They've been riding its tired old back for decades and look about as silly doing it as Adam West now looks in his old Batman suit.
It can be a great work. Doesn't matter. Ask yourself, what else have they done? Talented people with a gift for design keeps doing great work, time and again, for a variety of clients.
2. Prima Donna
The Prima Donna is a designer who thinks he's God's gift to the creative industry. He had that one dead giveaway, something all PDs share - the Swagger. That walk people get when they think their DNA is better than everybody else's. There he goes now down the hallway. And in his hand, a paper bearing his latest brilliant design.
It's like this: When I look out of tall building, I think all people look like ants. He thinks that when he's on the street.
3. The Whiner
It has been said that whining is simply anger coming through a very small hole. If so, then the Whiner is a very angry little man. What he whines about most is his job. And he whines all the time. All of his clients sucks. All other designers suck. The sad part is if he could just convert half the energy he spends whining, he'd be doing better work.
Whiners can be poison to other people. It's hard enough to keep your spirits high in this business, and it doesn't help to have a Whiner near you rating other designers. ("Loser, Hack, Mule, Mule, Hack, Loser..")
It's toxic. Pestilential. There's no hope in it. After a while, you wonder why Whiners don't just leave the business altogether.
4. Wack Jobs
I'm talking about people who are total Wack Jobs. Crazy six toed cats on cracks in a whorehouse.
What makes Wack Jobs such interesting specimens is that they look crazy even in the loosey goosey atmosphere of a design house. Wack Jobs usually have very screwed up personal lives that they vaguely allude to. WJs move from giving you no information about themselves to giving too much.
One of the early warning signs of possible wackage is a profileration of props in his office - giant six foot pencil, mannequin, anything really. A Wack Job think their office props say "I'm creative! Who knows what I'll say or do next?" What they say or do next, however, is drive you insane.
5. Slash Weasel
First thing you need to understand is the word slash. In creative parlance, it means "shared credit." And credit is what the Slash Weasel craves. He'll creep around the creative department trying to get "slashed" into credit lines of other people's work.
To ride your coattails, a Weasel thinks all he has to do is make a suggestion about your design. Upon seeing your work, he'll rattle a couple of "Did you try.." statements and walk away. Later, he'll insist he "helped" with your work and will include your design in his portfolio.
Remember the saying "There is no 'I' in team?", well there's a "we" in Weasel.
What's sad about them is that Slash Weasels sometimes actually have talent. The problem is they're in the business for the wrong reason - they don't care about promoting the client as they do their own.
1. The Hack
The first warning sign that you're in the presence of a Hack is that he'll somehow bring up his One Good Design from Way Back. He won't call it that. In fact, he'll show it to you and say something like, "This is the kind of work that i do." That's when you notice the work is on brittle, yellowing paper from an old magazine.
All Hacks have one of these work. They made their name on it. They've been riding its tired old back for decades and look about as silly doing it as Adam West now looks in his old Batman suit.
It can be a great work. Doesn't matter. Ask yourself, what else have they done? Talented people with a gift for design keeps doing great work, time and again, for a variety of clients.
2. Prima Donna
The Prima Donna is a designer who thinks he's God's gift to the creative industry. He had that one dead giveaway, something all PDs share - the Swagger. That walk people get when they think their DNA is better than everybody else's. There he goes now down the hallway. And in his hand, a paper bearing his latest brilliant design.
It's like this: When I look out of tall building, I think all people look like ants. He thinks that when he's on the street.
3. The Whiner
It has been said that whining is simply anger coming through a very small hole. If so, then the Whiner is a very angry little man. What he whines about most is his job. And he whines all the time. All of his clients sucks. All other designers suck. The sad part is if he could just convert half the energy he spends whining, he'd be doing better work.
Whiners can be poison to other people. It's hard enough to keep your spirits high in this business, and it doesn't help to have a Whiner near you rating other designers. ("Loser, Hack, Mule, Mule, Hack, Loser..")
It's toxic. Pestilential. There's no hope in it. After a while, you wonder why Whiners don't just leave the business altogether.
4. Wack Jobs
I'm talking about people who are total Wack Jobs. Crazy six toed cats on cracks in a whorehouse.
What makes Wack Jobs such interesting specimens is that they look crazy even in the loosey goosey atmosphere of a design house. Wack Jobs usually have very screwed up personal lives that they vaguely allude to. WJs move from giving you no information about themselves to giving too much.
One of the early warning signs of possible wackage is a profileration of props in his office - giant six foot pencil, mannequin, anything really. A Wack Job think their office props say "I'm creative! Who knows what I'll say or do next?" What they say or do next, however, is drive you insane.
5. Slash Weasel
First thing you need to understand is the word slash. In creative parlance, it means "shared credit." And credit is what the Slash Weasel craves. He'll creep around the creative department trying to get "slashed" into credit lines of other people's work.
To ride your coattails, a Weasel thinks all he has to do is make a suggestion about your design. Upon seeing your work, he'll rattle a couple of "Did you try.." statements and walk away. Later, he'll insist he "helped" with your work and will include your design in his portfolio.
Remember the saying "There is no 'I' in team?", well there's a "we" in Weasel.
What's sad about them is that Slash Weasels sometimes actually have talent. The problem is they're in the business for the wrong reason - they don't care about promoting the client as they do their own.
posted by de-funk at 9:29 AM
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